Author: alearningaday

The biggest challenge with unpacking a breakdown in a relationship or any complex system is that we’re stuck analyzing what happened in the immediate past when the seeds were likely planted many months or even years prior.

I didn’t appreciate the value of consistency throughout my childhood. I waltzed my way through most months at school doing the bare minimum. Then I’d go on a crazy sprint when it came time for examinations – pulling multiple all-nighters – to get the job done.

I began experiencing the limitations of this approach in the final 2 years of high school. So, after a rough junior year/11th grade, I decided to salvage my final year with more consistent effort.

Then I fell right back to old habits in my undergraduate years – only to definitively understand that inconsistent efforts result in poor results in the things that matter in this life. And that’s not just grades* – but domains like fitness, relationships, and learning.

This blog was created with 2 goals – to teach myself (a) how to better deal with failure and disappointment and (b) consistency.

And while this practice has delivered on the 2 goals above and many more I didn’t think of at the time, I think consistency has been the habit that has had the biggest impact on the quality of my life. No matter the problem – whether it is as important as figuring out how to improve my fitness or a challenging work issue, or something more mundane such as sorting out our family photos or diagnose a higher-than-usual water bill – I know now that it will be best solved with consistency.

This means breaking the problem down into a set of actions/or a system of actions. Then taking steps toward solving the problem consistently – daily or weekly or even monthly depending on the activity.

Nothing beats small things done on a consistent basis because it often has a compound impact on our outcomes.

*I did eventually trying a consistency focused approach to my academics in graduate school. No all-nighters were pulled and the results, to someone who hadn’t an ounce of consistency for all preceding years in schools, were astonishing. Good processes result in good outcomes in the long run.

I watched the Netflix documentary on David Beckham recently. It was a well crafted set of episodes.

In his heyday, David Beckham was one of the best right sided midfielders in the world. His right boot was majestic and his strengths on a dead ball (corners, free kicks) are likely unmatched. But he was also a lot more than that – a global superstar whose impact went well beyond football.

My biggest reflection from the documentary was on the theme of trade-offs. His marriage to Victoria Adams / Posh Spice and the celebrity lifestyle came with it ended his career at Manchester United. After a stint at Real Madrid, he then decided to move to the US at a time when the MLS was a shadow of the league it is today.

To continue his eligibility for selection in the English national team, he made his way back to Italy to play for AC Milan on multiple occasions before finishing his career in France.

It all culminated in a fascinating and successful career as a footballer and global superstar. But it also brought with it many “what ifs.” What if he had stayed on at Manchester United?

What if he’d stayed at Madrid for a few more years and so on?

It is hard to escape the thought that he sold his still-incredible football career short. But then again, he was still wildly successful and has since gone from strength to strength as a co-owner of Inter Miami FC (the club Lionel Messi chose to join this year) while amassing half a billion dollars, and still managing to be the family man he’s so fond of being.

The documentary pauses at all of these decisions and examines the trade-offs from different lenses. Many disagreed with many of these decisions – but such is life. It isn’t a popularity contest.

You’ve got to make peace with the trade-offs of your decisions. And, from the looks of it, he seems to have done just that.

“Maybe the journey isn’t so much about becoming anything. Maybe it’s about un-becoming everything that isn’t really you, so you can be who you were meant to be in the first place.” | Paulo Coelho

It resonated.

One way to think about age – we become old when we think and talk more about the past than the future.

“We suffer more in imagination than reality” – Seneca

I was thinking about this idea recently as I found myself mulling over a potential issue. The key, of course, is that it was a potential issue – not a real one.

I reminded myself that there is no point suffering twice.

Turns out there was no need to suffer – there wasn’t an issue in the end.

We suffer more in imagination indeed. Things are often not as bad as they first seem.

“When nothing seems to help, I go and look at a stonecutter hammering away at his rock perhaps a hundred times without as much as a crack showing in it. Yet at the hundred and first blow it will split in two, and I know it was not that blow that did it, but all that had gone before.” | Jacob Rils

This rhymes with the idea that there is no such thing as an overnight sensation.

Decide what matters to you. Figure out how to do well. Then stick with it.

It may not seem to pay off for a while.

Until it does.

After a post a few months ago on “Timing the market,” Jonathan sent me a copy of his new book “Mindful Investing.” Mindful investing, to him, is:

1. Mindfully looking at what you really need to make you happy (both now and in the long term), then making an investment plan to match your needs.

2. Once you’ve done that, avoiding the noise.

He shares a key concept in Taoist philosophy – “wu-wei” or intentional non-actiohn. Doing without doing.

The key is to do the planning part – determine the amount of money you’ll need in the future, save, and invest/rebalance regularly in a simple diversified portfolio. Then free yourself from market timing and investment selection judgements.

Make a plan, then wu-wei.

It resonated.

I just finished listening to Peter Attia’s Outlive. I now understand the hype.

Despite starting the book with high expectations (given said hype), I finished it with a feeling that I’ve stumbled on an experience that is likely to be life changing.

The effect a book has on a person is a very personal thing. Some folks love books that explain the “why” while others prefer books that go straight into the “what” and the “how.” Some love books that indulge a curiosity while others love a book that is applicable. Then again, most books only have great impact when they reach us at the right time.

My barometer for impact is whether the book inspires a change in how I think or how I spend my time. And Outlive is likely going to go down as a book that did both.

I was explaining why this is the case to a friend recently. I think it is the sheer force of logic in the book. There’s very little that is hand wavy. For instance, his case for medicine 3.0 is logical. The combination of scientific method and randomized control trials have made it possible for us to live longer. But, living longer does not equate to a high quality of life. That requires us to take control of our health.

The logic here is simple. He asks an innocent question – what would you like to be able to when you are a centenarian? Would you like to be able to walk unassisted? What about climbing stairs? And what about picking up a child?

Every one of these can be quantified in terms of the fitness levels required when you’re 90. And assuming normal muscle and strength degeneration, you can work backward into the level of fitness you need to have at this time.

The book ends with a powerful end note about Dr. Attia’s own struggles with depression. All in all, it manages to be insightful, powerful, and inspiring.

While I’m still thinking through all the changes I need to make, I’ve been making a few changes already. The biggest area is around freeing up time.

We’re working parents with two young kids who choose to not have any help at home. So, there isn’t much free time lying around. My first significant cut has been watching football/soccer and, perhaps more importantly, abstaining from catching up on news. This may not seem like much – but it is a big long-standing habit change for me. Timing matters – Manchester United’s sad start to the season has made it easier too.

The second is using the free time from a change like the one above to exercise longer every morning and evolve the mix of exercises. I’m still working through the changes here.

The third is around my diet. My ~2.5 years of intermittent fasting is coming to an end. Dr. Attia has made a compelling case for a protein shake and fruit breakfast. So that’s a big change too.

And, finally, I do intend to get to a collection of tests Dr. Attia recommends to get a sense of my risk factors.

I’ll plan to write a post about each of these changes in the coming days.

I saw a review for the book on Amazon that said – “This is a user manual for the body that should be given free at birth.” That may be the best description I’ve come across.

It is a user manual I intend to use.

“A true spiritual teacher does not have anything to teach in the conventional sense of the word, does not have anything to give or add to you such as new information, beliefs, or rules of conduct.

The only function of such a teacher is to remove that which separates you from the truth of who you already are and what you already know in the depths of your being.

The spiritual teacher is there to uncover and reveal to you that dimension of inner depth that is also peace.” | Eckhart Tolle, Stillness Speaks

I think this wisdom goes well beyond spiritual teachers. Every great coach – whether they hold that title or not – helps us connect more deeply with the depths of our being.