Author: alearningaday

“Some day, in the years to come, you will be wrestling with the great temptation, or trembling under the great sorrow of your life. But the real struggle is here, now… Now it is being decided whether, in the day of your supreme sorrow or temptation, you shall miserably fail or gloriously conquer. Character cannot be made except by a steady, long continued process.”

The actions we choose today sows the seeds for the actions we’ll automatically begin taking when we face trials in the future. Don’t make exceptions for extenuating circumstances… because life is a series of extenuating circumstances.

Learning happens fastest when there are real consequences.

The alternative catalyst is surprise.

The true test of learning is behavior change. When there are real consequences, we are forced to change behavior.

And, in the absence of those consequences, surprise makes us pause and rethink how we do what we do… which, in turn, increases the probability of behavior change.

The simplest way out of being stuck in ruts created by our day to day – play longer term games.

An idea I think about from time to time is how our appreciation for any given skill or experience inevitably transcends to a spiritual experience.

Writing, for example, after all these years, is a spiritual experience. I can say the same for many things I’m passionate about.

A good friend framed it beautifully when he shared – as our passion, skill, and appreciation for a topic goes up, we inevitably move from understanding the science, appreciating the art, and then experiencing its spiritual nature.

It resonated.

One of the few guarantees in this life is that every up will be followed by a down. And vice versa.

We never know when we’ve hit the crest of the up-wave or the bottom of the down wave. But, as sure as we are that the sun will rise tomorrow, we know enough to know that the opposite will come.

It is an appropriately sobering thought on the up and an encouraging one on the down.

It is that understanding that helps us build equanimity and gives us the greatest gift of them all – perspective.

And where perspective resides, wisdom follows.

When I first added a quick run in the morning to my routine, I used to go out with 3 layers, a beanie, and a bandana. Mid-way through the run, I’d have to carry my jacket and the beanie as it’d get far too warm.

I’ve learnt from those experiences. I step out now and embrace the chill for a few minutes knowing that I’ll be feeling warm soon. And if I really wanted to feel warm sooner, I could.

Every morning, this experience reminds me of an idea I call “internal weather.” The external weather may be near freezing – but my internal weather feels different. By the time I run up that second hill, I’m sure I could even get down to my inner layer and be just fine.

An amazing contrast.

Of course, the external weather matters. But it is amazing how much I’m in control of my response to it.

It is a beautiful daily reminder of the insight around being proactive. It is easy to be overly focused on reacting to the external weather. There’s always a problem thrown at us – the economy, that skeptic, that person who doesn’t like us, that result that didn’t go our way, and so on.

But we always have the dials – typically turned with intentional effort – to change our internal weather.

A couple folks wrote in about day before yesterday’s note on appealing to logic. They acknowledged that the first step is to figure out if logic is even an option.

Marge, however, posed the next question – what happens when we realize we’re dealing with emotions? What levers was I referring to when I said “Use the right levers, we must”?

First up, I think the important step is differentiating a problem that can be solved with logic vs. emotions. Too often, we waste time trying to logic our way out of a decision that is emotional.

Next, once we realize it is all about the emotions, the next step is to understand the fear and incentives* involved.

Only then will we understand the way out.

*I think fear and incentives are the most powerful forces in the world.

“I only start counting sit ups once it begins to hurt.” | Muhammad Ali

I think of this every time I try to go easy on a workout.

The pain shows us the way – in our workouts and in our life.

A good first step to decoding how to move when we’re stuck on a problem that involves influencing others is to ask ourselves if the problem can ever be solved by appealing to logic.

Often, we find ourselves incredibly frustrated as we keep attempting to shine a light on the logic… only to realize that it wasn’t ever about the logic.

Use the right levers, we must.

I learnt about this exchange in the movie Lawrence of Arabia where Lawrence extinguished a match between his thumb and forefinger. William Potter, another character, surreptitiously attempts the same

William Potter: Ooh! It damn well ‘urts!

Lawrence: Certainly it hurts.

Officer : What’s the trick then?

Lawrence: The trick, William Potter, is not minding that it hurts.

The trick is not minding it hurts indeed.

PS: if you’re getting this via email, I’ve temporarily tried changing the “from” email so replies don’t get a failure message. Still trying to debug the issue. Hope this works in the meanwhile.