Author: alearningaday

How do you measure a day

Do you measure how a day went?

If yes, how do you measure it? There are multiple options –
1. A feeling of satisfaction / happiness
2. Time spent on productive work
3. Time spent on top 3 priorities
4. Top priorities accomplished
5. Number of to do list items accomplished
6. Time spent having fun
…etc.

The goals we set drive the outcomes we achieve. The absence of goals drives outcomes too – they just may or may not be what we want.

How we measure our days drives how we live our days. How we live our days drives how we live our life.

10 years ago – at this time

What were you doing 10 years ago – at this time?

Bill Gates rightly said we overestimate what we can accomplish in a year but underestimate what we can accomplish in a decade. I don’t know about you but I know I didn’t even think all that much about an interesting future. I was just a 11th grader who was growing increasingly worried about my grades and getting into a good undergraduate program after long stretches of time spent away from school for extra curricular competitions.

People often refer to periods like school/university/graduate school as the best periods in their lives. I couldn’t disagree more with this thought. Yes, these times are special. But, I find thinking of them as the “best” periods feels so limiting since they go by in the first quarter of our lives. The beauty of life, as with any other thing, increases as we learn more about it. So, if we’re learning on this journey, it is almost certain that the best days are up ahead. The difficulties get more challenging and interesting, the good times get more fulfilling and our ability to appreciate it only goes up.

So, let’s take this moment to reflect on what we’ve accomplished in the last 10 years. If, like me, you’ve performed way above your own expectations, good for you. I’m sure it was a combination of luck and skill. If it didn’t, well, now is the best moment to change things so things look better when we ask this question 10 years later.

Here’s to more… or less (depending on what you like).

But, most importantly, here’s to better.

The anatomy of a mistake

Last weekend, I decided to add 75 new friends I’d gotten to know over a week to the 200 words project with an option to opt-out.

In hindsight, that was a mistake. I judge it as one because it has given me an uneasy feeling in the pit of my stomach ever since. What I should have done is made it an opt-in. That it seems so obvious now makes it even more exasperating.

Rather than kick myself for the result of the decision, it makes for an interesting case for analysis. What led to the mistake? I can think of 2 reasons –

1. Sleep deprivation and illness. Low sleep, not feeling great => limited willpower. Beware of decisions you make when you are low on willpower.
2. No clear decision process. Generally, behind every bad decision is the gap left by the absence of a process. In this case, I have always added folk to the 200 words project via a mix of opt-ins and opt-outs depending on how well I know the person. It is my way of staying in touch with people and it turns out to be very nice to be in touch with folk from 6 years ago thanks to a consistent weekly email. Additionally, there is a lot of effort that goes into making it useful – so I don’t see it as a spammy share (talk about bias…). And, therein lies the problem with an undefined decision making process that, in reality, is very intricate. I’m better off simplifying it by just saying opt-in only. And that’s what I’ll do from here on in.

A few other learnings I have taken away –
1. Behind every mistake is a bad decision. Don’t kick yourself for the mistake, fix the decision. Every mistake, thus, is just a learning opportunity. And yes, this is hard to implement. I seem to get there thanks to this blog but it only happens after kicking myself a few times.
2. You amplify the bad reactions and forget the good.  This is hard to correct as it is human nature to focus on a negative reaction. It is a good reminder, however.
3. No one cares about you and your mistakes as much as you do. Again, a reminder.
4. Bad feelings in the stomach are a sign that some insecurity has been pricked. This one is an insecurity of feeling unfairly judged.
5. Keep flexing your “rejected” muscle. Try, fail and get rejected, try again. Trying again matters a lot. Your “rejected” muscles need to be working well so you don’t get too upset with yourself after you make a mistake.

A friend wondered aloud yesterday as to how I managed to think of a learning every day. I pointed to the more-than-average number of mistakes I seem to make. I hope he’s reading this one. :-)

Finally, to add a dash of perspective, I did remind myself that these aren’t mistakes my grandchildren will ever even know of. That’s a good reminder, too (since we are in reminder zone).

We live and we learn.

 Appeal to purpose – The 200 words project

Here’s this week’s 200 word idea from Give and Take by Adam Grant.

3 different messages/appeals were displayed in various hospital bathrooms to encourage people to use soap and hand sanitizers –
1. Hand hygiene saves you (appeal to self-interest)
2. Hand hygiene is good for the patient (appeal to purpose)
3. Gel in, wash out (catchy messaging)

The research team then weighed the amount of sanitizer used and found that the purpose message worked the best by far.

A similar study with university office workers, who worked on collecting alumni donations, showed that a 5 minute session every morning that shared stories about students who benefited from alumni donation scholarship doubled the number of weekly pledges they collected.

So, if we’re looking to appeal to people to change behavior, perhaps we could consider an appeal to purpose of the change.

Appeal to Purpose
Source and thanks to: www.EBSketchin.com

‘Great minds have purpose, others have wishes. Little minds are tamed and subdued by misfortunes; but great minds rise above them.’ | Washington Irving

Small problems and big problems

Life throws small problems at us every day. They’re more than enough to keep us busy. However, it isn’t optimal to spend all our time solving small problems. When Toyota’s legendary thinker Taiichi Ono came to the same conclusion, he decided he would train the organization to look for the big problems using the five why approach.

Taiichi Ono isn’t alone in his approach to problem solving. Great thinkers over time have approached the world with a determination to understand the principles that govern it. That’s how Taiichi Ono and Henry Ford changed manufacturing. They dug deep into the hundreds of small problems in a manufacturing plant, understood the key principles, and developed frameworks that they then applied rigorously and tweaked with more feedback.

This is hard to do – no surprise there. So, how do you go about doing it? Albert Einstein’s approach was to just stay with problems longer. And he probably knows a thing or two about difficult problems.

The good news is that this approach can then be applied to every aspect of life. You can understand people better by understanding the principles that govern them. You can understand financial markets by understanding the principles that govern them. Ray Dalio’s Bridgewater Associates have made billions of dollars by doing this with unerring consistency.

Like any approach, this one has its downsides. When you begin applying this approach to understand people or when you help people through their problems, you can come across as very intimidating. That’s because digging deep requires you to ask tough questions and tough questions never fail to intimidate people. Additionally, a commitment to attempting to get to the big problems requires you to be open to consistently revisit your assumptions and approach to life. Most find that too overwhelming.

The final and most important pitfall is to do with ourselves. A commitment to constantly finding the underlying principles requires an assumption that most small problems are symptoms of a bigger problem. While that is largely true, it completely negates coincidences and outliers. In our desire to find patterns, we can end up falling prey to all sorts of false assumptions to explain a pattern that doesn’t exist. And, if we don’t guard against insularity and over-confidence, we might lose the ability to distinguish between reality and our perception of it. We will fail miserably without self awareness.

That said, the beauty of a principle-based approach is that when we put in the effort, we begin to understand and appreciate the inter-connectedness of this world and thus, begin to appreciate the beauty of this life. It is only when you learn the principles behind tennis do you really appreciate Roger Federer’s genius.

I’ve said this before and will say again – habitually ignoring the small problems and finding the big problems is very hard. Try the five why approach if you will and you will realize very quickly that the questions only get tougher as you make your way along the process.

And therein lies the tough part about digging deep and attempting to understand the principles – it doesn’t feel like a very rewarding process.

Until it does.

Case-by-case analysis and why strategy matters

Imagine someone came to you with a proposal regarding local industry garment workers facing increased competition from foreign competitors. $1 billion from the country or $4 from you (assuming a population of 250 million) would save their jobs. $4 per year to save a few jobs – that doesn’t sound too bad, right?

Now, imagine the steel industry comes to you with a similar request.  Then, the auto industry, then the television manufacturers and so on. All of a sudden, you are paying $250 per year to bail all these industries out. There is no way you would have agreed to this if you had known this would be the end outcome. But, consider the situation case by case and you will find that it is possible to say yes to each individual request.

That is why a case-by-case analysis without a big picture overview is dangerous. And that is exactly why strategy matters.

For example, the biggest criticism leveled at self-help books is that many of the ideas don’t work for those who read them. Of course they don’t work. If you go in with a willingness to test every new idea, many will fail. The strategy here would be to really understand yourself – your values, your drive and your approach – and then pick ideas that align with who you are.

Similarly, a smart football manager’s strategy is to pick a formation that suits her team. There is no point attempting a counter attacking strategy if her team is not suited for quick counter attacks.

If you approach a new environment without an overarching strategy, anything and everything can seem like a good idea. Your strategy is the filter that helps you make sense of the world. It is the way we think about and approach the world and it is fundamental. Here are 2 examples of a strategy for the first month at –

a) Your new job: Key priorities  i) Understand what the deliverables are and what success looks like ii) Spend time getting to know my co-workers iii) Focus hard on the core task and don’t worry about additional opportunities (revisit as necessary)
b) Your graduate school studies:  Key priorities i) Recruiting – because it is a great process to learn for life and because the results matter ii) Academics – because I am here to learn iii) Extra curriculars – because it is a great way to get to know people iv) Social – because I must prioritize time to get to know people from different social circles

So, what if we get it wrong? Good news – like life, it is iterative. If it didn’t go so well today, don’t fret. Learn. We will do better tomorrow.

(Hat tip to Avinash K Dixit’s book – The Art of Thinking Strategically)

Network and net worth

Many exclusive clubs and business schools use the idea of tapping into their network to attract members. I am skeptical about this. While I think these clubs and schools do bring together interesting people and probably increase the probability that you will find like-minded (perhaps even like-valued – if you are lucky) friends, I am still not sure access to their networks accomplishes all that much.

What I would agree with is that a network is incredibly powerful. Who you know is generally more important than what you know as it opens more doors to possibilities. So, the question still remains – how do you build a network?

I agree with an acquaintance who pointed out bluntly that “your network is proportional to your net worth.” While his focus was on financial net worth, I’ve expanded on his definition and arrived at the following thesis. Your build your network by building your net worth on 3 dimensions –

1. Build financial net worth. This is true – the more financially wealthy you are, the more easily doors open for you.

2. Build power net worth. Find me a powerful person who doesn’t have a network to call upon. This is related to financial net worth but slightly different in nature. A network born out of power is probably the most fickle of the lot. Ask any discredited politician. Perhaps it is no surprise that many of them work hard to increase their financial net worth while in power.

3. Build character net worth. This is the final dimension and is one that is often ignored. Building character is the longest and most sustainable method of building a network. The hard work lies in building a worthy character and proceeding to do great work. A reputation follows, slowly and surely. And, once such a reputation is built, it is the hardest of the three to bring down. You and I probably know of nice people who have built enormous networks, often by frequently connecting one person to another. It helps that it is fairly easy to tell a person’s character by looking at their track record around work and relationships over the long term. People of character will not always be liked, but, the chances are high that they are held in high regard for their character and work ethic – especially by those who’ve been in close contact with them over the long term.

This thesis has a couple of interesting implications. First, the more important part of building a network is not having access to individuals with high net worth. It is having a high net worth yourself. A beginner politician might be denied entry into a network of the most powerful politicians in the country. But, if the person doesn’t know how to build power net worth, he/she will not survive.

Second, each of these can combine with the others to make a formidable combination. While financial net worth and character net worth often go together, I find that power net worth and character net worth don’t do so nearly as often.

Finally, it is possible for anyone to have an excellent network. While one might not succeed as spectacularly on the finance dimension, we can all aspire to succeed over the long term on the character dimension.

Yes, it isn’t easy and yes, it isn’t guaranteed to work. But, find me a solution that is both on an issue as important as this… and I’ll show you a solution that is wrong.

Without hot water

We spent the Labor Day long weekend without hot water thanks to our neighborhood power utility requiring maintenance. It is hard to describe that moment of joy when hot water was finally switched on at about 10pm on Monday.

Of course, we got by. That was never the problem. But, the joy of just turning the tap to find hot water gush out of the shower or tap was real. It reminded us that access to hot water is a real privilege. I am grateful for that privilege.

It also reminded me of how I always feel thankful for good health when I fall sick. I am learning to be thankful for good health when I am healthy, too. I hope you are, too.

And, while we’re sending in our thanks for all these wonderful things, let’s also take a moment to thank the people who fill our lives with happiness. If they’re far away, send them a note. If they’re close by, give them a hug.

Yes, life is the longest thing we’ll ever do. But, that doesn’t mean it isn’t short either. Most things in life have this mystical paradoxical nature to it. Time passes by quickly. Let’s be thankful. Let’s make it count.

Early warning systems

I had a horrible record of listening to my own body while growing up. This manifested itself in a very predictable pattern of illness – I typically went 6-8 months without falling ill thanks to my willpower and then followed by getting completely knocked out for 1-2 weeks. This was because of my tendency to work in bursts, burn myself out, and then need recovery. My tonsilitis inflammation rate, for example, was a joke. I used to have one very painful week every 3-6 months (happy to share that it is down to one in the last 2 years now). Folks who have tonsils prone to inflammation will probably understand that tonsil inflammation is one of those illnesses that has obvious triggers and many early warning signs.

I have been actively working to avoid this tendency over the past few years as it signifies many of the things I am working to change about myself – consistency vs. sporadic bursts, embracing my introversion, learning to listen to my gut and then understand when it is right and when it isn’t.

So, after two weeks of intense activity with far too much social stimulation, I had all sorts of early warning signals go off when I woke up on Sunday morning. My throat has been feeling funny, my stomach feels like it has gone for a toss and I just feel like I need a break. Here’s the best part – I would barely have noticed this 4 years ago as all these signals are relatively mild. My natural instinct is to power through them. This was supposed to be my week of returning to the daily work-out routine, for example. My focus would have been to just get that done no matter what.

Thankfully, I know better now. Getting the work-out routine done would be efficient but I am almost completely certain that it would mean I would fall sick within the next 3 days. I am now working to respond to these warnings – sleeping as much as I can, eating regularly, drinking warm water, and pacing myself. I’m not sure if I heard these too late or acted on these too late as yet but I’m certainly going to give prevention my best shot.

Good leaders understand and leverage early warning systems. They do so by really understanding the teams they lead and the systems they manage. Careful observation always gives us an idea of the leading indicators. The best hunter gatherer chiefs always knew when bad weather was on its way. The birds and animals made certain noises that foretold it. These chiefs just needed to pay attention.

As leaders of our own selves and within our own families, it is entirely our responsibility to develop early warning systems. An explosive argument with your spouse or significant other almost certainly didn’t occur because of what you did just now. It was an accumulation of many annoyances. With better early warning systems, we can work to prevent issues before they occur.

The onus is on us to observe, pay attention, and then respond.

You attract people by the virtue of who you are

One of the most interesting aspects of going back to school after reading many books on human behavior is that you feel you are in a human laboratory of sorts. For a start, you meet more people in 2 weeks than you’ve probably met in 4 years of professional life. And, as a bonus, you have a very high school-esque atmosphere as everyone is keen to understand who their friends might be.

Since friendship offers incredible insight into human behavior, I thought I’d share my notes on a few observations about friendship –

1. We are the average of the five people we spend most of our time with. Friendships matter. (glad we’ve gotten that out of the way)

2. Schools are one of the best sources of great friendships. While some work environments manage to create strong friendships, it isn’t uncommon to hear people describe their friends either from high school, university or graduate schools. I think friends are one of the education system’s biggest gifts to us.

3. Friendship in our early years is almost entirely a product of proximity. As we grow, it becomes entangled more by choice. And, the entrance of choice means we get to see our own magnetic fields in action.

4. We all have magnetic fields that either attract or repel people. These magnetic fields are almost entirely driven by a combination of who we are (comprising of our values and what drives us) and the strength of our personality. Depending on who you ask, we can either be bloody boring, absurdly cool, too serious, too uptight, too flaky, etc.

5. That brings us to the next important truth – everyone is not going to like you. No, you can never be universally popular. In fact, shooting for popularity is probably a problem in itself.

6. If your magnetic field isn’t getting you the sort of friends you’d like to be surrounded with, you either need to change your friends or change yourself.

7. “Cool” exists in every social group. There is always a certain sub-section that is cooler. This group is the envy of most nerds and geeks. However, in my experience, the cool kids are left behind almost without exception. That’s my way of saying – make sure you pay attention to the nerds and geeks. You might just end up working for them.

8. You can be intentional about friendships. But, you’ll have to learn to do so without trying too hard. All human relationships are two way and the other person has to respond too.

9. Trying too hard is a field-killer. It obscures who you are because you pay too much attention to fit in. Don’t fret – just keep an eye out for like-minded people and you’ll generally do just fine.

10. Some people manage to present different faces to different people. If you’re not skilled enough to play that game, don’t try it.

11. If you aren’t really clear about who you are and what you stand for, don’t worry. It comes through when you start doing work. The work you do is a by-product of who you are and how you approach life.

12. Finding excuses to let yourself and your work shine through are critical as a result. That’s why many friendships build when working on projects. Don’t underestimate the power of extra-curricular activities.

13. As with life, patience is critical. Great relationships often take a while to form. That’s okay. A great personality can help speed up the process but, unless it comes naturally, it is probably not worth the bother. It is character that is going to sustain a relationship. There are few more accurate signs of good character than long-lasting relationships. It is definitely an infinite game.

14. If possible, actively seek folks who have different backgrounds and points of you. This is only possible once you feel relatively secure about who you are and where you come from (hence, communities of expatriates typically cluster). If you feel you are ready for this, give this a shot. While it is guaranteed that people with similar background will have many shared experiences, you will be amazed by the sheer number of like-valued people you find when you venture outside.

15. And, one last thing, be yourself. If you don’t know what that means, work hard to understand who you really are by working to understand what your values are, what drives you, and how you approach life. It is only once you possess a sufficient amount of self awareness will you be happy to be by yourself. Often, it is when we’re perfectly content to go on a journey by ourselves that we find the best group of travel buddies.