The experience of being alive

“People say that what we’re all seeking is meaning for life. I don’t think that’s what we’re really seeking. I think that what we’re seeking is an experience of being alive, so that our life experiences on the purely physical plane will have resonances with our own innermost being and reality, so that we actually feel the rapture of being alive.” | Joseph Campbell

Perhaps we assume finding the meaning of life will give us a sustained experience of being or feeling alive?

Fault vs. problem

I came across this piece of wisdom – “Sometimes in life, even though it’s not your fault, it’s still your problem.”

It took me a while to learn this.

But life has this way of presenting opportunities to us to make sure we learn the lessons that need to be learnt.

So, in my most recent sticky situation, I found myself starting in denial that it was my problem.

Until I realized the only way is through… and that would only be possible by accepting it was indeed my problem.

Mufasa

We saw Disney’s Musafa recently. 5 reflections –

(1) Let’s start with the overwhelmingly positive – the music. Lin-Manuel Miranda should just be on a Disney retainer. Bye Bye, I Always Wanted a Brother, and We Go Together have all become instant “all-time favorites” in our household.

(2) I thought Scar’s story was exceptionally well-told. His arc from savior to proud brother to jealous brother to guilty brother who eventually betrays Mufasa feels both realistic and relatable. Great stories give villains depth – and this one certainly did.

I was reminded of a Dumbledore quote – “It matters not what someone is born, but what they grow to be.” Scar was always told he was born to be a king. However, as he grew up, his actions made it clear that he didn’t deserve leadership. And that led to resentment.

Rafiki said it beautifully- “Sometimes when the people most like you don’t love you, it is a hurt that can cause the greatest pain, and this pain can lead you to hate everything.”

(3) The story had some powerful notes about leadership. The most important of which is that leadership isn’t a title, it is earned when you care enough to take action to make things better for those around you.

(4) I’m not sold on live action movies. I think some of these dialogs would have had greater impact on animated animals.

(5) Rafiki, as always, was full of wisdom. 3 quotes I loved –

“A flea can trouble a lion more than a lion can trouble a flea.”
It is easy to doubt everything when you know nothing.
“Sometimes, a dream is all you have. The only truth that lives in you.”

Attaching our identity

We all attach our identity to things or people. To our work, our kids, our wealth, our faith, our side projects, our investments, our health, and so on.

There are trade-offs to these attachments. On the bright side, we pour our heart and soul to anything we do that relates to these.

On the flip side, we are likely to be guilty of talking about these too much or taking offense too quickly.

There’s no right or wrong involved in picking one or some of these. It tends to work best when we combine a diversified portfolio with self-awareness that helps us avoid digging ourselves too deep in the trade-offs pit.

Perhaps the more important thing is to realize we are always choosing to attach our identity to something.

Best to be thoughtful about those choices.

Heard at an executive offsite

“Congratulations on being senior leaders. Your job now is to always find the flowers in a field full of shit.”

A teammate who heard from an executive at the offsite described this as a quote that lives rent-free in his head since.

So much of senior leadership is finding reasons to be optimistic and figuring out how to make things work against the odds.

Vivid, hilarious, and wise – it resonated.

Grass on the other side

Someone I know was talking about a recent experience working in a different part of their organization.

From the outside, it always looked like that side got whatever it asked for.

A few months in, he realized that it came with downsides he hadn’t considered. He returned with appreciation for what he had.

The grass is often greener on the other side because it is fertilized with bullshit.

Running the agenda

There’s a lesson you learn early as a parent. If you allow your kid(s) to run the agenda, they’ll happily continue to do it.

It takes a lot of pain in the early years but there is an important moment that defines the culture of a family. It is that moment when parents recognize what is happening and say – “No.”

Simply, clearly, and repeatedly.

Until the message sinks in.

And in doing so, they make clear what is acceptable and what isn’t.

Because, in parenting and in any kind of leadership, you get what you tolerate.