Month: October 2023

“When nothing seems to help, I go and look at a stonecutter hammering away at his rock perhaps a hundred times without as much as a crack showing in it. Yet at the hundred and first blow it will split in two, and I know it was not that blow that did it, but all that had gone before.” | Jacob Rils

This rhymes with the idea that there is no such thing as an overnight sensation.

Decide what matters to you. Figure out how to do well. Then stick with it.

It may not seem to pay off for a while.

Until it does.

After a post a few months ago on “Timing the market,” Jonathan sent me a copy of his new book “Mindful Investing.” Mindful investing, to him, is:

1. Mindfully looking at what you really need to make you happy (both now and in the long term), then making an investment plan to match your needs.

2. Once you’ve done that, avoiding the noise.

He shares a key concept in Taoist philosophy – “wu-wei” or intentional non-actiohn. Doing without doing.

The key is to do the planning part – determine the amount of money you’ll need in the future, save, and invest/rebalance regularly in a simple diversified portfolio. Then free yourself from market timing and investment selection judgements.

Make a plan, then wu-wei.

It resonated.

I just finished listening to Peter Attia’s Outlive. I now understand the hype.

Despite starting the book with high expectations (given said hype), I finished it with a feeling that I’ve stumbled on an experience that is likely to be life changing.

The effect a book has on a person is a very personal thing. Some folks love books that explain the “why” while others prefer books that go straight into the “what” and the “how.” Some love books that indulge a curiosity while others love a book that is applicable. Then again, most books only have great impact when they reach us at the right time.

My barometer for impact is whether the book inspires a change in how I think or how I spend my time. And Outlive is likely going to go down as a book that did both.

I was explaining why this is the case to a friend recently. I think it is the sheer force of logic in the book. There’s very little that is hand wavy. For instance, his case for medicine 3.0 is logical. The combination of scientific method and randomized control trials have made it possible for us to live longer. But, living longer does not equate to a high quality of life. That requires us to take control of our health.

The logic here is simple. He asks an innocent question – what would you like to be able to when you are a centenarian? Would you like to be able to walk unassisted? What about climbing stairs? And what about picking up a child?

Every one of these can be quantified in terms of the fitness levels required when you’re 90. And assuming normal muscle and strength degeneration, you can work backward into the level of fitness you need to have at this time.

The book ends with a powerful end note about Dr. Attia’s own struggles with depression. All in all, it manages to be insightful, powerful, and inspiring.

While I’m still thinking through all the changes I need to make, I’ve been making a few changes already. The biggest area is around freeing up time.

We’re working parents with two young kids who choose to not have any help at home. So, there isn’t much free time lying around. My first significant cut has been watching football/soccer and, perhaps more importantly, abstaining from catching up on news. This may not seem like much – but it is a big long-standing habit change for me. Timing matters – Manchester United’s sad start to the season has made it easier too.

The second is using the free time from a change like the one above to exercise longer every morning and evolve the mix of exercises. I’m still working through the changes here.

The third is around my diet. My ~2.5 years of intermittent fasting is coming to an end. Dr. Attia has made a compelling case for a protein shake and fruit breakfast. So that’s a big change too.

And, finally, I do intend to get to a collection of tests Dr. Attia recommends to get a sense of my risk factors.

I’ll plan to write a post about each of these changes in the coming days.

I saw a review for the book on Amazon that said – “This is a user manual for the body that should be given free at birth.” That may be the best description I’ve come across.

It is a user manual I intend to use.

“A true spiritual teacher does not have anything to teach in the conventional sense of the word, does not have anything to give or add to you such as new information, beliefs, or rules of conduct.

The only function of such a teacher is to remove that which separates you from the truth of who you already are and what you already know in the depths of your being.

The spiritual teacher is there to uncover and reveal to you that dimension of inner depth that is also peace.” | Eckhart Tolle, Stillness Speaks

I think this wisdom goes well beyond spiritual teachers. Every great coach – whether they hold that title or not – helps us connect more deeply with the depths of our being.

It occurred to me that the phrase “moments of joy” feels more natural when we describe our experience than saying “days of joy” or “hours of joy.”

Somehow, the longer the described duration, the more awkward it feels.

I think that awkwardness is a nice representation of our life experience. We do experience moments of pure joy. But, beyond that, the euphoria inevitably dies down to remind us of all the things that aren’t quite right.

If you organized something nice, someone likely complained. If you shipped something good, a critic probably came out of the woodwork. And no leader who is trying to make progress ends the week with universal popularity/happiness.

Life is a mixed bag at every long enough unit of time. Weeks tends to be mixed bags. Months, quarters, and years definitely are.

We just learn to filter out the stuff that isn’t positive and remember what remains.

Often, those are the moments of joy. Enjoy them while they last.

Just don’t expect them to last too long.

When I take a walk down the street, I’m enveloped by rows of tall trees. And every time I look at the tall pines and Redwoods, I’m struck by their magnificence. They soar into the sky and somehow combine strength, stability, and stillness all at once.

Their size also reminds me of the fact that they were here long before me. And that they’ll be here long after.

My worries-of-the-moment feel small when I think of everything they’ve seen and endured.

Tall trees give us so many wonderful gifts – shade, oxygen, and beautify. But the biggest gift they give us might just be perspective.

I was getting on a train recently with luggage and was trying to make my way in amidst a few passengers who were standing right in front of the door as the doors began to close.

As I tried making my way in, a guy near the door said – “Hey, be careful. There’s a pregnant lady here.”

I turned, realized she’d been among the crowd, and conveyed a quick apology. He, however, went on with – “What an asshole” and a couple other choice remarks.

I chose not to respond and we all moved on.

A couple reflections –

(1) That space between stimulus and response is so important to maintain our own sanity. Even in situations where we perceive said stimulus to be unfair, it is often best to let things go. This is especially the case with one-off interactions.

(2) Such reactions are more commonly expressed by the dominant demographic group in the particular area. And more often from men vs. women. Caste systems or their spiritual equivalents tend to be everpresent.

(3) Anger often flows from judgment that flows from assuming bad intentions. Compassion, on the other hand, flows from assuming good intentions.

(4) Forgiveness is not something we do for the other person. It is what we do to help ourselves move on.

(5) And a tactical note – when you are on a train, try not to stand in a way that blocks the door at a stop. Move inside even if you’re getting off at the next stop – you can always make it back to the door when the train moves. It goes a long way.

An idea that is lost when we’re walking around in a cynical state of mind is that the many wonderful things in the world around us were all shaped by optimists who refused to let the world around them get them down.

Outside of the incredible gifts we’ve gotten from nature, it is all invented.

We can be those inventors too. We’ll just have to park our cynicism at the door and get on with it.

“To achieve great things, two things are needed: a plan, and not quite enough time.” | Leonard Bernstein

I love a good quote and this one was particularly good.

Enough time might not be what we need after all.

H/T: Jonathan DeYoe

One way to improve the quality of our decisions is to pose a simple question any time we find ourselves receiving a recommendation – “What are the trade-offs?”

It doesn’t matter what the recommendation is – but if it involves a significant investment for some great predicted benefit – it is worth explicitly understanding what the trade-offs are.

Because they always exist – nothing is perfect.

And the sooner we understand them, the quicker we’ll be able to gauge if something is great for us.

We’ll also quickly understand the compatibility of a recommender as well. Good recommenders tend to be disciplined about consistently calling out trade-offs.