Art in human interactions is knowing when to ignore the science. There’s plenty of science out there that can tell you how to “win friends and influence people.” But, art is understanding what and when to ignore the science.
There are 3 pre-requisites that help us become artists –
1. An acceptance that universal popularity is a myth. This leads to a degree of comfort in just being ourselves.
2. Taking time to learn the science and understand human psychology and human behavior. Wisdom typically follows knowledge.
3. Developing the habit to be present when we interact and to take the time to reflect after interactions. That’s how we learn from our experiences.
There have been many great books written about influence and persuasion that have inspired courses in schools around the world. That’s great – it helps us understand the science. But, approaching human beings as scientific puzzles that need to be solved is one of the worst long term moves we can make. In the really long term, a purity of intent matters more than anything science can offer. That can only come with a genuine interest in understanding people and in building long term relationships.
Human interactions and relationship building isn’t a short term cash-and-carry game. There is a term for that game – networking. It doesn’t work in the long run.
A Learning a Day 