Self development does not happen by locking ourselves in a room, reading great self help books, and walking out transformed. Of course, you knew that. Apologies for repeating the obvious. So, what is a great process for self development?
My hypothesis would be that it would involve 3 steps –
1. Observing and reading. Keeping an eye out for learning all around us and reading a lot
2. Synthesizing and sharing. Synthesizing what we’re observing/reading and sharing it with others. Setting aside time to teach/train others works best as there’s no better way of internalizing what we learn.
3. Monitoring ourselves to ensure we are indeed getting better. Having trusted friends and family help us with the monitoring is definitely a great help.
When we understand this, it comes as no surprise that data from MyFitnessPal shows that people who shared their food diaries with friends ended up losing twice as much weight or that the peer pressure from a book club or church helps us lead better lives. Developing ourselves requires us to fight the resistance and it is much easier to do so with like-valued friends.
I’ve found time and again that self development happens best when we remove the self focus in the equation. So, if you’re working on a self improvement project, consider taking others along. Not only is there enough learning and happiness out there for all of us, it’s a lot more fun too.
A Learning a Day 