“How are you doing?” “Oh, doing great. You know, work is good, life is good, etc. It’s nice to meet. Let’s meet for coffee sometime.”
I do not like fake conversations. I do my best to avoid them. If at all possible, I do my best to steer the conversation to real questions and issues I am dealing with.
Now, I’ve come to think of it as the difference between “behind-the-scenes” and the highlight reel. It’s easy to launch into a highlight reel – it’s the stuff Christmas cards are made of. But, we all know the reality is different. We all have our struggles. We often learn so much and gain so much perspective when we discuss them.
Yes, the highlight reel is appropriate sometimes (pretentious social occasions come to mind). But, I find we have much more deeper and meaningful conversations when we talk about what’s really going on. We gain perspective and, most importantly, really connect with those we meet.
So, as I was asked the “how are you” question on a short catch up with a friend, I asked – “Do you want the “behind-the-scenes” story or the highlight reel?”
We both laughed. So much better than the “everything is great” bullshit.
A Learning a Day 