People of influence in our formative years leave indelible marks on our lives – I call these marks imprints. Kids, for example, always carry imprints from parents and key teachers through life. If a child’s parents were harsh and critical, the chances are high that the child carries those insecurities for life. At the same time, if you find a child with parents have been largely supportive, you probably have a kid who is confident of his/her decisions and open to failure.
While imprints are best made in our formative years, an open person can continue to be impressionable as he/she grows up. The more positive imprints a person experiences, the more likely that person is open to more. Conversely, people who’ve been scarred early are going to be very hard to influence/change. In short, both of these create recursive loops.
There are a couple of questions that arise. The most obvious one is if we are generally impressionable or not. Do we employ wariness or openness as our default reaction? Being wary is safe and risk-free while being open can bring a combination of learning experiences and failure.
The most interesting implication, however, is on how we do as people capable of leaving an imprint. We leave imprints in 2 ways –
1. In positions of influence or power – As parents, elders, managers, leaders, and teachers.
2. In every day-to-day interaction. The impact of the imprint is largely proportional to the size of the personality.
The size and impact of our imprints are not to be underestimated. For example, a friend of mine used to regularly sing in her primary school years. In the sixth grade, she participated in a school play during which the teacher in-charge told her mother that “She’s like a peacock. It works best when she keeps her mouth shut.” She has never sung in public since.
I don’t intend to take moral high ground here. I am sure I’ve made remarks that have scarred people – especially as an insecure teenager with a strong personality. But, after having experienced both positive and negative imprints, I’m learning to be careful.
The lesson for today is simple – make a conscious effort to think about the kind of impact we have on people in every interaction. I would hazard a guess that the sum total of these imprints over the course of a lifetime is truly game changing and probably our only real legacy in this world. Let’s ensure its a good one.
A Learning a Day 