A friend was recently picked for an important project in his company. He was the youngest person to be chosen and he was told that it was his ability to be extremely open to feedback that got him in. He explained to us that he had first been given this feedback a few years ago. Soon enough, this became a label – he was the guy who was always open to feedback. It stuck.
Years later, he finds himself working extra hard to ensure he stayed true to this ‘label.’
The lesson I’ve taken away is that praise is identical to criticism in terms of process. Praising the process (e.g. a person’s tenacity, ability to work hard when the going gets tough, etc.) serves the person much better than praise to the person (e.g. you are so great, or so smart). That way, when the going gets tough, the person will always remember the process that worked for him/her and re-adopt it.
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Inspired by Lifehacker
A Learning a Day 