We tried making a close family member quit smoking for many years. He never budged. He always pointed out that it was a vice that had become a habit. We tried all sorts of methods and there was no change for a few decades.
One day, he had a severe congestion followed by many days of pain. And, just like that, he quit. No motivational talks needed.
A few years ago, I believed you could convince people to do what they don’t want to do as long as it’s good for them. Now, I believe this is best not done. You may get lucky 10-15% of the time but the change you desire will not last till the person at the other end really wants it.
So, if you really want someone close to you to change, first ask the person if they want to change. If they don’t, give it up. If you care a lot, make a 5 minute case and see if that changes anything but be prepared to walk away. Ask more questions, give fewer answers, and you might just be able to help.
We get the concept of push naturally. Learning to create pull is much harder. It helps you spend your energy effectively though.
A Learning a Day 