Who you are most of the time

Life has us place an inordinate focus on who we are some of the time i.e. during job interviews, dates, product launches, and exams of various kinds. We aim to be our best selves during these times as they often decide what we do most of the time.

The paradox here is that it’s who we are most of the time that actually matters. It is what our reputation is built on. If every interview, date, product launch, or exam requires a super human push to bring out the best in us for a short while, we’re missing the point.

It’s great if we can bring out our A* game every match day but, in the grand scheme of things, it’s the ability to bring the A game every time we show up that differentiates the professionals from the amateurs. Besides, while you can occasionally make the A* leap on match day, it means your performance is heavily reliant on luck. That’s okay but it’s not a sustainable plan.

And, if a plan isn’t sustainable, you can be sure that the grind that is day-to-day living will rip it into shreds..

Failure and Abundance

If you fail once and decide to quit, you’re belief in scarcity is justified. There was an opportunity. You tried. You failed. There isn’t enough.

If you fail a 100 times, however, you realize the scarcity theory doesn’t hold as strong. If there are a 100 ways to not do something, there might just be one way to actually do it right. The only way to make it through here is to believe in abundance, i.e., that there may be more than one way to get what you want but you just haven’t found the right combination yet. Maybe the circumstances need to change or maybe you need to change, get better, and become more worthy of your goal.

It’s hard to fail a 100 times though. Most of us give up after 4 or 5 attempts and walk away telling ourselves it’s impossible. What we’re really saying is that our belief in scarcity was validated. Scarcity doesn’t like more failure. And not failing enough means not having enough perspective when you attempt to solve your next problem.

How do you get out of the rut? Fail more. Fail often. Ingrain the idea of abundance. Get perspective by clocking up the count of bad judgment and thus, gaining experience. Call upon the perspective by learning to be still and thus, learn how to be wise. It’s an arduous process. But, what good process isn’t?