For most social interaction, “why” isn’t a necessity. It’s a great-to-have and makes a huge difference. For example, if you meet a customer service person whose life mission is to serve or to excel in service, you feel the difference. The “why” naturally translates to the “how.” The “why” is an intrinsic choice, however. It can’t be easily trained.
Training employees to embody a “how” is easier. If done well, it can mask the lack of “why” because employees have been trained to behave in a certain way and do so in a way that feels genuine. Most air hostesses at Singapore Airlines are trained to exude a certain positivity – whether it is their life mission to serve, the act of putting on a Singapore Airlines uniform seems to bring out the best in them.
Instead of focusing on the “how,” too many training programs focus on the “what.” They train their employees to say please, sorry, and thank you a lot with other phrases that sound nice on paper. All of these miss the point – it’s not what you say but how you say it that makes an impact on a person.
People don’t remember what you say or do, they remember how you made them feel.
A Learning a Day 