I interviewed Cal Newport for Real Leaders this morning. The first 30 minutes were a disaster – I was having internet connection trouble on my side and Skype didn’t cooperate. We switched to Google Hangouts and, in an attempt to stop the echo, I put on headphones to get the interview started. 7 minutes into the interview, I realized this wouldn’t work as the recorder wouldn’t be able to hear the audio. Cue feelings of embarrassment, disappointment, and annoyance all at once.
Luckily, we persisted. The next 30 minutes were much better. We did complete the interview. Cal was full of insightful ideas about work, excellence, and building careers. Regulars here know I am a big fan of Cal’s work, specifically his book “So Good They Can’t Ignore You,” which I consider to be the best career related book I’ve had the fortune to read. So, in a way, I expected to walk out of the interview with these ideas.
However, I walked away with something different. I walked away remembering the guy who was empathetic, understanding, and patient through technology troubles and my screw ups. Nice guy first.
We’ve been fortunate to reach out to, and occasionally interview, a whole bunch of successful people thanks to Real Leader interviews. Ego and petulance could perhaps be expected (there is a lot of that out there, too). But, I’ve learnt that many of these folk are remarkable because they are nice, first.
As I reflected on the conversation with Cal, I read a first draft of our next interview due tomorrow – Chandoo of Chandoo.org. Excel geeks all over the world love Chandoo.org – one of the world’s top excel help websites. Chandoo has been featured in Chris Guillebeau’s “The $100 Start-up” as well. And, Chandoo’s interview was one of the heartfelt interviews I’ve read (My lucky teammate called “dibs” on his interview first so I didn’t interview him myself). Nice guy first.
Regulars know how I have been continuously influenced by Seth Godin’s great work. Despite his many many commitments, Seth still takes responds to notes asking for help. Again, nice guy first.
So many other examples spring straight to mind.
You can say great things and back it up with great action. These guys do that. But, people hardly ever remember what you said or did as much as how you made them feel. You can be great at what you do but to truly inspire others, you need charisma – that ability to make others feel capable of great things. And charisma comes from being nice first.
I once heard an executive described as somebody who would “sell his grandma” to make sure he gets his job done and gets promoted. Sure, that’s one way to go – be hard nosed with a focus on success and nothing else.
Or be nice first while being remarkable at your craft, inspire others around you and be a leader in the true sense of the word. Your pick.
A Learning a Day 