As human beings with primal survival mechanisms, our natural reaction to external stimulus is one that promotes survival. If all we do is give in to these reactions, then all we do is ensure we “survive”.
The gap, of course, lies in the fact that times have evolved so much that, unless you live in the forests of the Amazon or in the heart of the drug mob, a basic amount of security is guaranteed. Just like attempting to repeatedly sterilize a clean house that is inhabited is futile, actions with the sole objective of survival are useless.
But, our heart and the emotional/elephant part of our brain still react with these primal instincts. Have somebody challenging a fact in your presentation? Freeze/fight/flight are the obvious reactions. Face somebody unhappy with a decision? Blame it on someone else and run. The productive response in both cases would be to stand your ground, understand the other side’s point of view, express your own point of view and accept responsibility for any consequences, if any.
Some term this “guts” or “balls” and make it sound like it’s a rare asset some fortunate folk are born with. Bullshit. It just involves defying our instinctive reaction to take cover and protect ourselves and that, in turn, takes a bit of self awareness to catch ourselves when we do this and a bit of determination to make a habit out of responding instead of reacting.
Funnily and paradoxically, in an increasingly secure (in terms of physical threat to life) and transparent word, security and safety in terms of the things we say and the stands we take are merely superstition.
A Learning a Day 