Richard Feynman, in his famous autobiography, ‘Surely you’re joking, Mr Feynman’, has some very interesting experiences with trying to pick up women in a bar. After many attempts, failures and successes, he concludes that the best way to do that is to be an absolute jackass. Don’t buy the woman a drink, be rude, obnoxious and your chances of success are really high.
Now, I don’t know how true this is. I haven’t experienced it for myself but it does tend to agree with my observations. Playing ‘hard to get’ works, whether in relationships, friendships or even in business.
As service providers or businesses, it is actually very tempting to forego the customers who actually love you in pursuit of ones that are ‘hard to get’. It’s the joy of pursuit – the activity that gets our adrenaline up, the activity that is a key part of what makes romance and courtship seem so exciting. This is why, when as a kid or a teenager, you tell a friend you’re done with them and instead of them ignoring you, they come clinging back trying to be ‘better’ friends than they were.
The problem with this approach, then, is obvious. One step at a time, you alienate those that really love you. These tend to be the nice folk (who are generally used to be taken for granted) and it’s only a matter of time before the word gets around and the nice folk avoid you altogether.
That’s the real problem. Because the magic, as we all realize, is not in the romance but in the companionship. At some point, we run out of the energy for romance..
And yes, this is a round about way of saying – Don’t take the ones who love you, care for you and who are loyal to you for granted. Maybe I should have just said that?
A Learning a Day 