Being Interested

A lot of our ‘social education’ revolves around being interesting.

The social scenario we tend to imagine typically involves making an impression on a room full of important/interesting people. Ideas like ‘fit in before you stand out’, ‘make a great first impression’ come to mind.

In our effort to be social successes, we are taught to speak clearly, dress well and the like. And, there are multiple popular blog posts out there in the blogosphere that talk about ‘how to be interesting’ – read more, travel more, catch up on the news etc.

If we stop for a moment, flip the situation around and think about the outcome we intend to achieve, it is likely to be around making a good impression/having an impact on the people we meet.

Perhaps, then, all our social training needs to just be geared to that outcome because, and this is my argument, all we need to really make an impression on someone is to be interested.

That’s not to say this is any easier. It actually requires us to pay full attention, to not worry about what we have to say, to ask meaningful questions and be fully engaged and present. It will likely endear us to the person on the other side much more than ‘being interesting’ will.

The most beautiful thing about the being interested approach is that you can’t fake it. Either you are listening, or not. It shows.

PS: I am not saying you shouldn’t go about being interesting. Just that doing things like traveling 40 countries just to be interesting sounds like an awful amount of time and effort for an outcome that can be achieved otherwise.

If you love the traveling, that’s a different matter. Do it because you care. Not because you feel it will pay dividends, would be my view. It shows.