I try sending out a weekend book learning email to close family and friends. It is a way for me to remember the learnings from books (i.e. non academic) read during the week and to make sure I do read as well.. Here is the edition for this week. :)
1) Sparkz fly when insecurities meet: This means that insecurity is at the root of every resistance/argument/issue. For example, if we find ourselves resisting or taking a stand and refusing to compromise on something, it just means we are insecure about the issue and it is time to recognize it.. This can be one sided or 2 sided.. A one sided example is when we get frustrated like when we try to help someone and they refuse to be helped and in fact, oppose what we do.
A two sided example is a typical argument between a kid who thinks differently and a more conventional parent. The reason this can go wild is because the kid definitely has insecurities about his identity and place in the world while the parent may have insecurities about whether he/she has been a good dad/mom.
So, the next time we see ourselves losing it – let’s try to pinpoint what we are insecure about..
2) When in an emotional argument, use the (red) Indian walking stick strategy: The basic principle here is that when in an emotionally tough conversation, the person speaking has a stick and the person who wants to go next will first have to clearly describe what he/she felt the first person talked about and only when the person feels understood does he or she pass the stick to the next person for their point of view. This is one way to ensure everyone is listening empathetically..
3) With people, fast is slow and slow is fast: Basically, the efficiency vs effectiveness paradigm. There is NO point being efficient with people…
A Learning a Day 