We’ve been attempting to teach our kids to ride scooters/bikes recently. While there are a few experiments in progress (read: reflections to follow once we have experiment results), there was an interesting recent ritual where we’d come back home after a walk/ride and our older kid would ask – “Did I nail it today?”
I answered “yes!” unconsciously for a few days before realizing that the question and my response was making me feel uneasy.
I realized that she’d picked it up from my unconscious reaction on one of the days. And, she figured this was a great way to get some validation for the progress she made.
Once I came to this realization, I began switching my response to – “Did you try hard today?” And, if the answer is yes, then that’s great because it is the effort that counts.
A few days in, this re-framing is slowly beginning to become the default question/self talk.
Long may that continue.