In my Gut

I was wrestling internally with regards to the post this morning. There were two posts sitting in my head – one on dealing with rejection and the other on something in my gut. The line of thought behind dealing with rejection was clear. I’ve been dealing with a lot of rejection from unlikely sources over this past month and I thought I’d reflect on how I’ve learnt to deal with rejection that bit better over time (and an acknowledgment of the fact that rejection always stinks!).

The other post idea i.e. something in my gut was not clear or mapped out. If choosing my post for a day was a completely logical process, rejections would have been the topic of the day. But, something in my gut decided I must write about something in my gut. I guess my gut is biased. Go figure..

I’ve been thinking about this over the past few days. I’ve been feeling something uneasy in my gut. And I don’t know why. For the first few days, I ignored it and drowned it with what I’d call the noise of action hoping it would go away. But no, it hasn’t. Every time things are silent, I tend to hear this gut feeling.

When I was thinking about it before heading to bed last night, I was reminded of an exchange I had with JLM ages ago on AVC. I’m unable to find the comment but JLM’s view was that men spend a lot of time in their lives training to not listen to their gut. They try to be completely rational while women actually hone their gut and listen more to their hunches. And he wasn’t at all sure it was a good thing.

Neither am I.

It’s one of those situations where I don’t know what to make of things. And that’s unusual these days because I’ve come to understand myself that bit better and can typically pinpoint when I feel off beat or off balance. When I normally feel uneasy, I just take the next action or decision and get on with it and it typically vanishes. Not this time. Not yet, at least.

Perhaps I’m being asked to slow down. Or perhaps it’s just messing with me.

Either way, dear gut, you ought to know, it’s working and YOU HAVE MY ATTENTION.